Choosing a Hill to Die On
an existential quest
As this arguably one of the most important decisions of your life. this will largely be a multiple choice process.
Are you ready to get started?
Relax, we are all gonna die. This is just a fun little activity to do while we wait, okay?
To paraphrase the great Robert Frost, and the misquotes from yearbooks for decades after and still to come, here you are at your two roads.
You can't split yourself in two, and there are no indicators of which one is less traveled.
Which one do you want to take?
I find choices rather debilitating.
Would you consider yourself a rather
self-aware person, or do you want to change your answer?
Err... let's go back.
I am quite disapproving of your insinuation. Please give me a comment card to send to your manager before I fall down on my hill.
Right, but, like, has anyone ever used the phrase "quiet dignity" and your name in the same sentence?
JFC, fine let's pick a different topic of discussion (though secretly, I still think that it will be mentioned in the eulogy).
I will not dignify this with further discussion.
Please, let us move along.
Okay, just checking.
Did any of them kill you?
Were you pretty boring in general or was it really that good?
yes
Were you pretty boring in general, or did you really do something worthy of praise?
Like you have a hospital wing or school named after you or something?
You can call me Dr. Sidney Fucking Farber, okay?
Don't ask me any more questions.
Good god, what kind of scandal ruins a run for public office in this day and age? I am going to need some context.
Did it involve windsurfing?
Mistaken identity?
A baffling geography question you didn't know how to answer?
A plot to frame another country for a crime under pretense to start fight an unpopular war?
No, just run-of-the-mill sex stuff and the nausea that the public had to endure when forced to picture me partaking in.
None of these, but there has been at least one full length book and a written for television movie based on my exploits.
Which of the cardinal deadly sins was featured most prominently?
fornication
gluttony
wrath
avarice
acedia
humble bragging
opposing the NRA
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Oh, awesome I love these!
Which thread?
Were you kind of boring in general, or was it really that bad?
I see. You had a lot of pain inside. Were you inspired by rock music?
Were you inspired by any of the following:
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